NILMDTS

When I first learned of the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization, I spent hours scouring their website. I cried over the pictures they posted, the stories they told and couldn't imagine being able to see photos of myself and Toot. After talking with several people about how invaluable their pictures were, I searched for some photographers in my area and came across Sharon Reiley. I think I might have broken the rules when I contacted her directly, but once I saw her website, I just knew that this who I wanted to take pictures of Toot. I loved her website and loved her pictures. Then I found out that Sharon sadly and suddenly lost her firstborn son Owen two weeks before he was due to be born ... if anyone would understand what we're going through, it was her.

Sharon responded to my email instantly, and said she would be happy to help us. We met Sharon on April 14 when she came to our house for a maternity photo shoot. I was incredibly nervous, not just because I generally hate pictures of myself, but because I just wasn't sure what to expect ... I didn't think our house would photograph well, couldn't imagine where we would take pictures, how they would come out, etc. I needn't have worried because Sharon was awesome. She had sent us an email with some sample pictures to browse through, and also brought a book for us to look at ... we told her what we liked and didn't like and she got to work.

It was an incredibly emotional day ... one of those that I got through okay (or so I thought) but was really draining and caught up with me later in the afternoon. Sharon had said it would take several weeks to get the pictures, so I was surprised to get an email from her on Tuesday saying that she had mailed a disc with the photos. In her email, she cautioned me about looking at the pictures, "I feel I should warn you, these images are extremely powerful. I want to make sure you are prepared before you view them. It will be very difficult for you to look at them. They are filled with so much emotion, love, joy, and sadness... My heart aches to look at them. Please, make sure you look at them with Patrick together."

Needless to say, I was very anxious to see these pictures! But I am so glad that P and I made sure we were ready, because Sharon was right. They were incredibly powerful and emotional. I had no idea how sad we looked and just how much emotion you can really capture on film ... I usually hate pictures of myself, but these I love. I feel like Toot makes me see myself a little differently, if that makes any sense at all. Instead of critiquing every picture looking for flaws, I just looked at them and saw them for what they were. It's our little family and now I'll forever have us captured on film ... I am so grateful to Sharon for this gift.

We're so hoping that Sharon is able to be at Toot's birth. I feel so comfortable with her, and am keeping my fingers crossed that the timing works out okay! Sharon now has a 2 1/2 year old daughter, so can't just drop everything at a moment's notice but said she would do everything in her power to be there for us. I am confident it will work out, because sometimes, these things just do.