May 18, 2009.
The day that I've been thinking about since September 15, when we first found out we were pregnant. That this day is actually here baffles me. It amazes me that Toot has made it this far, yet terrifies me that our time with her is coming to a possible end. She has defied the odds, yet has so still has so much more to overcome. Today was such a weird day. I worked, which was a good thing, but all day people kept asking me when I was due and I would say, today. (Which FYI is not a good idea when you're taking care of someone's loved one. They instantly think you're going into labor immediately and get a panicked look on their face. Tomorrow, I'm going to change my answer to something a little more vague). All along, I've known that Toot could come at any time. Yet knowing that today is her day makes it that much more real. And reinforces the fact that I am so not prepared ... I'm not prepared to be in labor, I'm not prepared to give birth, and I'm certainly not prepared to say goodbye to the sweet little girl that has lived under my heart for the last nine months ...
Work kicked my ass today, not to mention that I'm a bit emotionally drained and I don't have the energy to write much more ... but wanted to acknowledge Toot's day. It will forever be her day in my heart. And I can't believe it's almost over ...
Hope you're doing okay. Couldn't help but laugh about your patients freaking that you're due now ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's certainly seems more "real" now that her due date is here and she will arrive any day now. I'm so excited to meet her, and see her little face and who she looks like more :) I know that you'll be so strong through labor & delivery and will be there with you through everything else that may come. I love you and will never forget "Toot's Day" either. *5.18.09*