The last few days, I've had a complete change of heart about what I want to have happen with our precious Toot. Last week, I still thought I wanted nature to "take its course". I couldn't actually pray those words, because how in the world could I wish my baby girl dead?! Still, I silently thought about it, all the while praying to God that he help us with whatever happens ... Now that I feel her move, I know that is the last thing that I want. Every extra minute I have with my baby girl makes me want a thousand more ... I pray so hard now that I have even just one minute with her. It's amazing how attached I am to this baby. I love her more than I ever thought possible and want nothing more than to cradle her in my arms ... at this point, no matter what happens, I know that I will be able to do that and it gives me such a sense of peace.
I've been doing a lot of reading on the T18 Foundation website (it took me awhile to go back there again after the overwhelming grief I felt at the beginning of this journey) but there are so many other moms out there that are just like me! It's amazing to know that I am truly not alone ... other people do get it. And it breaks my heart that anyone should have to go through this, but the support that is available is what makes it possible to survive this ...
No comments:
Post a Comment