I am so freaking nervous about this marathon! It's supposed to be rain/snow and 39 on Sunday. I mean, really?! When I left work this morning that was the exact weather outside and it was COLD. I am so afraid of letting Bri.enna down ... I doubt myself and my ability to finish the race and am so totally in my own head that it's bad.
UPDATE: I went shopping today and bought myself some rain gear. I'm feeling a bit better. I so want to finish this marathon. Gone (almost) are my lofty time goals. Crossing that finish line is enough for me. I just want to run a good race and do it for Bri.enna. I cannot let her down. There is so little I can do for her ... any chance I get to do something, anything for her makes me happy. I miss her :( So much it hurts. I sobbed and sobbed last night. P held me and then I felt better. This just never gets easy. My baby is gone. Did this really happen to me?! It couldn't have, I can't survive something like this! It's horrible, the worst thing that could ever happen. Something like that would ruin my marriage. Yet here I am. Stronger. With a better marriage than I could have hoped. About to run my first marathon ever, (hopefully) fulfilling a life long dream. Thank you Bri.enna. Because of you, this is all possible. I love you and miss you so much ...
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