Beautiful Baby

Yesterday, we were treated to a 4D ultrasound of our precious little Toot and it made my weekend! My aunt works for GE (she used to be an ultrasound tech but now does sales) so she borrowed a portable ultrasound machine, came to our house and set up shop. It was awesome. We were able to stare at our little girl for hours. I loved every minute of it. It's amazing the detail that 4D provides. I feel like we know her so much better getting to see her just hanging out, dancing, stretching and sleeping. We got tons of pictures, and were able to record her heartbeat, a sound that I just can't get enough of. It was such a different experience from being at the doctor's where they're measuring her growth and looking for things that are wrong. We just got to look at her: her little feet tucked up in my ribs, her cute little bottom, her muscular little arms, her button nose and chubby little cheeks.


It was an amazing day, for both P and I. It's always a little sad at first to see her and know that things won't turn out as we hoped they would; she looks perfect to us. And poor P. I looked over at him at one point (he didn't know I was watching him) and a really cute image of Toot popped up on the screen. He looked at her, made this "oh" sound and just kinda stuck his bottom lip out to pout for a minute and then blew her the littlest kiss. It was adorable, but broke my heart. He is such a good dad to her, and such a good husband to me. We talked about it later and he said that he just wishes he could fix things, in his words "it's what I do; I fix everything". And he does, it is so him to take control, fix what needs to be fixed and save the day ... he's been doing it for me for years. I wish he didn't feel so helpless ... And neither one of us wishes we could fix Toot, because she isn't broken. This is just who she is, and I love her all that much more because of it. I just that we wish we could give her more of a chance at life. We're doing everything we know how, and I hope that she gets a chance to show everyone just how strong she is ... she's defied the odds and how can I not be ridiculously proud of her for that?

Seeing her totally reenergized me and I have a reneweed sense of hope and strength for the next 10 weeks. I fell asleep last night feeling so calm and at peace. I am beyond grateful to my aunt for giving us that gift ...