Too Good to be True?

I am pregnant. Again. I never got a period after the miscarriage and 6 weeks to the day when the miscarriage started, I took a pregnancy test. I'm not even sure why. I had felt a little nauseous at work one night and I knew I might be drinking a lot over the weekend. So after work on August 20, I stopped at Shaw's and bought a pregnancy test. I slept for a few hours, letting my urine concentrate and then peed on the stick. Of course I assembled it wrong so it showed nothing. I slept again for a few more hours, assembled the stick right and saw POSITIVE. I almost shit myself. My first reaction was to smile. Then I hopped in my car, drove to CVS and bought five more tests, all different brands just to be sure. They were all positive. I took pictures of them all. Pat came home a few hours later. We were heading up to Canton for a cousins night (my parents were away) and as we were getting ready, I said, "by the way, I found this out today" and showed Pat the stick. He was like okay, wow. And gave me a huge hug.

Monday rolled around and I called the RE's office, not even sure if I should since clearly infertility didn't appear to be the issue. She said to come in Wednesday for bloodwork. My beta was 6202. She scheduled me for more bloodwork and an ultrasound a week later and on September 1, we learned were 6w1d pregnant. We saw a heartbeat at 132 and Dr. P said based on dates, the ultrasound and my beta (22,000+), things looked good. We went back for another ultrasound this past Wednesday, September 8 and measured 7w, 4d with a heartrate of 150.

So we're pregnant. And I feel more attached to this pregnancy than I did with the one we miscarried. I wonder if when my beta was 50 that time, they knew I'd miscarry right away. I sure didn't, but I bet they did. My due date will be sometime in late April. We have another ultrasound in two weeks and I'm petrified I'll miscarry before then, but hopeful we won't. It feels surreal. It's scary, because I can see myself with a baby this time. I find myself daydreaming about a nursery, a jogging stroller, whether it's a boy or a girl. And when I catch myself, I try to stop because I'm afraid of getting my hopes up. Even though they already are ...

It's strange too, because at this point with Brienna, we didn't know anything was wrong. I would be about to have my first ultrasound, which would show she was small. I was elated at that point, I think. We were so excited to be parents and loved Toot so much ... it's almost scary how much you fall in love even though so much can go wrong. I pray every night that this time is different. That we do bring a baby home. The only person besides Pat and I that know is my crazy lady, Pat. And she has a good feeling about it. And I guess I do too. I know Pat does. So, let's hope I keep anxiety and fear at bay and try to enjoy being pregnant again. Despite the fact that I feel like crap. I've never been so constipated in my life and have heartburn on top of it. I'm exhausted and it's miserable. But I'll take it :)