Toot does NY!

My last post was somewhat debbie downer, so I figured I'd try and write one that was slightly more upbeat!

My husband and I took off Friday night to NY to visit my sister. I should say tell you all that I am very lucky in that my sister doubles as my truest friend in the world. I may be the older sister, but she is my confidant and has been a constant source of support, encouragement and love throughout my entire life. Sometimes it's as if she's the older sister ... she is a great aunt to my nephews, and is already the best aunt to my little Toot. I so enjoyed spending the weekend at her place and I love that she and P get along so well too. We truly had a great time.

We arrived at Penn Station Friday night and headed over to K's place. After a quick bite to eat, we all ended up falling asleep on the couch! Saturday morning we woke up, had breakfast delivered (which I just thought was the coolest thing!) and then headed to Battery Park so we could take the ferry over to see the Statue of Liberty. It was such a touristy thing to do, but none of us had ever seen it, and despite all the lines, I am glad we did! It's amazing to think of what Lady Liberty truly represents to our country. Here's a dorky picture of P, Toot, Lady Lib and I on Valentine's Day:


We took the ferry back to Battery Park, and then headed over to Union Square for a late lunch. NYC is so refreshing. We walked everywhere and there is just always something to do. I am not sure I could ever live there now, but I wish that I had when I was fresh out of college or something. I love visiting K there. She's been there about two years now and while I hate that she is far away, she really isn't that far away at all. Her place is great, and she is so happy there ... it's nice to see her in her element! After lunch, we walked over to Washington Square to meet up with friends at their place and just hung out for awhile. We all met up again for dinner in the West Village Saturday night. We went to this little Italian restaurant with live Jazz music and it was so good. And so not expensive either, which was great!

I felt alive and "normal" all weekend. I think I even looked happy a few times! It felt great to escape the house and our normal routine. P and I both enjoyed ourselves so much and it was very hard to leave on Sunday! We love making memories with Toot ... she is so a part of our lives already and I wish with all of my heart that someday she'd actually get to see the Statue of Liberty and NYC. I'm glad we'll have lots of pictures of her with us throughout this crazy journey ... she is our baby girl, our first child, and no one can take that away, ever.

P and I were kind of in let down mode (if that makes sense) on the train ride back and we were just talking about life and how it's hard to imagine things were so different two months ago before we knew about T18 ... we wondered if things will ever seem bright again because sometimes we both feel so subdued ... it broke my heart to hear him talk about how sad he is every time he sees a father with his little girl. He said he just always had this vision of a baby girl on his hip and Toot won't get to do that ... I always picture Toot as a two year old sitting on his shoulders laughing so I know exactly how he feels. He is going to be a great dad (he already is) and I wish I could somehow make this easier for him ... it is just so different for him. I feel like I am the lucky one because I get to be with Toot all day long. I feel her move, I talk to her, I just know her. He doesn't really get to do that although he finally felt her move for the first time last week and it was awesome. So bittersweet, but awesome nonetheless. Toot tends not to cooperate anytime his hands are on my belly, but she did last week and we both just smiled and cried ... our experience is so different than most people's ... sometimes it feels very isolating (more on that in another post) but it's our experience and we're really trying to make the best of it. We wanted a baby more than anything and yes things are going to turn out differently than we had hoped, but it doesn't change the fact that we love our daughter and are excited to be parents.