12: The number days in between runs. Pathetic. There was no real reason, either. I could blame the heat, Crossfit, my IT band or a number of other things, but really, I just wasn't motivated enough. The heat stresses me out because running with Pete in that weather can be dangerous for him, but there are other times of day to run. And we have a treadmill (no air conditioning, but still).
Today, I started my day with a 3.5 mile run. Nothing crazy and I did it half-naked. I needed music, but went Garmin/watch-less. I just wanted to run; not to get mad at myself for being slow. So I did. And it felt a lot better than I thought it would. Maybe I ran 11-minute miles? I have no idea, but the first run getting back into it is usually the hardest. So I'm glad it's under my belt.
10: Pounds to lose. Also pathetic. I'd be okay with less, but I was 10+ pounds lighter after Brienna/before Pete (I was admittedly a bit too skinny, but it was all grief related). I've gained a few pounds since I stopped breastfeeding and I am pretty unhappy with my body right now. I hate that feeling. It goes hand-in-hand with lack of running and my diet over the last month or so has been terri.i.ble. So I need to make some changes.
I really, really want to get motivated again. My sister's wedding is in 6 weeks. I don't want to be the fat maid of honor. I don't want to feel uncomfortable all night because I'm unhappy with the way I look. I don't have a ton of work to do; I'm lucky. With the right food choices, and regular running, I'll be back on track in no time. Dorothy wrote about Jackie Warner's This is Why You're Fat (And How to Get Thin Forever) so I borrowed that from the library and am starting to put her ideas/suggestions into practice. If I could lose 6 pounds in the next 6 weeks, I'd be ecstatic! Having two kids has changed my weight distribution. It goes straight to my stomach now and is soo obvious. I legit look pregnant all the time. I hate it. But it's not going to go away on it's own, and again I know I don't look bad to other people. It's more for myself than anything. I want my clothes to fit again. Maybe my body's just too different to fit into my favorite size 25 jeans. But if I won't ever fit into them, at least I'll know that I tried everything I could.
10: Miles I want to run by the end of the month. I've never run the Blessing of the Fleet, and I feel like it's a Rhode Island tradition. So hopefully I'll regain my ability to run long distances and be able to run it July 27.
