Blast from the Past

It's been 19 months and 1 day since Brienna died. Really? How is that possible? I have no idea. I've been so sad and emotional lately. Everything with this pregnancy reminds me of Brienna and I love it, but get sad at the same time. On Saturday, I wore maternity jeans for the first time since June 2, 2009. It felt so weird. I am carrying so differently with this baby and just can't get away with what I did with Brienna. She was so good to me. I'm feeling kinda uncomfortable, nothing looks good and I just am blah. I don't think it was like that with Brienna ... I remember being uncomfortable right around this time, but it went away. I feel like now, if I eat more than the tiniest bit, I have heartburn and feel like crap. Yet I'm starving and eating everything in sight. I've gained more weight already, and feel like I look huge. And yet none of it matters. I just want to bring this baby home ... I want to hear he/she cry and I worry about it at the same time. SIGH.